What a Royal Pain in the Belly Button!

29 Apr

I know nothing about this particular set of Royals. The reason why is because I got pretty attached to the first set and they let me down. Charles — the frog, and Diana the beautiful princess. In that fantasy the Frog is supposed to live with the beautiful princess forever. He is most certainly and most assuredly NOT supposed to dump the princess and start hanging around with a wart hog.  I wanted to post something smart about the Royal Wedding because it seems like that is the thing to do today.  I went online and watched the videos and I read my twitter (seriously my tweeple are hysterical). I tried to gather enough information to say something smart.  Here is what I found:

  1. Charles and Camilla are literally the Royal version of my ex husband and his wife.  My ex married a 21 year old girl when he was 30somthing, he fooled around the entire time with someone older and more hideous, and then they eventually got married.
  2. Kate Middleton now the blah blah of Cambridge yadda yadda… she is cute, she is thin.
  3. Why didn’t they smile during the ceremony? Is that a British thing? To look miserable?
  4. While searching for a shot of Kate in a bikini that I read somewhere she got ‘caught’ when her and her royal pain in the ass were splits-ville I came across Kate Gosselin in a bikini. Does anyone else notice that her surgeon put her belly button in the wrong place? Seriously? If that happened to me I would never wear a bikini. I am scarred, now I must share.Puke

As I became more distracted while doing my research (I research for you, it is out of respect), and it became quite evident to me that I could not give a rats butt about the royal wedding. Congrats to you William and Kate. May you actually be happy in your marriage, which I know is not the style of your predecessors.

Peace out homies!

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