Dentures are sexy

26 Apr

The husband is still suffering through his abscess tooth.  It really is difficult to determine how much of his whining is well… whining, and how much is true on suffering. The fact that he actually called the dentist today leads me to believe the pain is starting to snap him out of the fear. Sadly, they cannot see him until tomorrow, which means I have to try to manage it by myself.  (thanks a lot dentist)

He says he doesn’t care, that he will just get the offending tooth extracted. So instantly I get this image of him getting all of his teeth removed right? You remember in the 80’s when people got dentures, they were always these giant horse teeth that were whiter than like any tooth ever should be ever? Sexy!  So now, while I am at my desk, I am picturing him with the horse teeth dentures from the 80’s. This leads into a visual of those dog chew bones they have that look like teeth.(See picture that I frantically searched for online so that I didn’t look as crazy as I felt when I was talking about it). So anyway this makes me laugh and then I start to feel really guilty about the whole thing. I mean has anyone ever DIED of an abscess tooth? And anyways, why would you wait that long (6 days!) to call a dentist? How deep rooted and f***ed up does a fear have to be of something in order to endure that much pain? (pun, deep rooted, get it?)

Next thing I have to say is you should never Google anything at all ever if you don’t know enough about it. Like “death from abscess tooth” because seriously YOU DON’T want to know.
As a dutiful wife, I sit here now, blogging to you, sitting next to the suffering. Offering him Advil and squishy foods. (I offered him a Xanax but he refused – not sure how we are even compatible!) Thinking that maybe I could get away with taking the Xanax myself if I could be 100% sure that I don’t have to drive him to the emergency room in an hour. And yeah I guess I still feel slightly guilty about the whole denture tangent that my brain went on but in my defense its Monday and I cannot be held accountable.


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