Trapped!

17 Mar

Something not too many people know about me is that more than anything in the world, I would like to pack up my husband (notice how the children are not mentioned? Part of my Mother of the Year award speech right there) and our crap and move to some rural hard to get to area with a nice 40 acre plot in a town of like 4 people. I would like to add some sheep, chickens and goats to this mix. I don’t mind the hard work one bit and I quite enjoy the solitude. I never really had a strong reaction to being part of a group. Add to that that I don’t really get along well with women and you have a social shit show. (Having #1 and #2 do in fact make this a little tougher but you know they are 17 and 15 so they are almost GONE for Christ sakes so why would I plan my future according to them?)

Unfortunately my husband is not only a borderline hoarder, but he also has an unnatural connection to the house in which we live. I do not. He was raised in this smallish raised ranch house in what used to be a quiet country area. Now it’s a booming metropolis (not really its NH for crying out loud) and far from its memory. The house is in a state of half doneness all throughout from projects we started and never completed. My husband and I are chronic not-finishers so there are stop and start scars all over the place. On top of the unnatural attachment he has to this house, and arguably the most important part is… we also own it. Free and clear… as in NO MORTGAGE.  Really, above all else, that is a hard thing to argue.

I HAVE TRIED… It goes something like this:

Me: “we should pack up all our shit right now and move to somewhere rural, everything is so #&$)@(& cheap out there and we could afford a dream home!”

Him: “well ____ as much as I would love to do that as well, that would mean a mortgage and why would we leave a home we own to trade it in for a mortgage”

Me: “we could sell the non-mortgaged home and buy something equal”

Him: “can’t sell it for shit these days, it would mean a mortgage”

Me: *pukes in my mouth because he is right… again*

So no matter how much I hate the town we live in. NO matter how bad my nomad spirit wants to continue with the pack and run mentality that I have become SO frigging good at over the years (this in itself is a blog entry), I am stuck.

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